I have a very interesting relationship with food and my body. 4 years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. I was working out regularly and eating pretty decently. I also did not drink nearly as much as I do now. Happy hours were an occasional occurrence. My friends and I had other methods of socializing. We went to the gym, we went hiking, and we even went on walks or got coffee. Then, I moved further from those friends. I was in a relationship with someone who did not put value in his health so I began eating like he did and working out less and less.
To top things off, I made friends with other teachers (whom I love more than anything). Happy hours became weekly if not several times per week. I was drinking way more than I used to. I gained 30 pounds in the first 2 years that I moved to my current city. Frankly, I felt like shit about myself too. I became an insecure mess of a human being. After my relationship ended, I started to get back into the swing of things with m body. I still felt off. I was spending more time with my friends, therefore drinking more. About 8 months after my break-up, I wound up in another unhealthy relationship; another person who wasn’t putting as much value on healthy food and someone who enjoyed drinking. In fact, I feel alcohol was what kept our relationship together for as long as it was. That’s typically not a great sign in case you were wondering. Without alcohol our relationship would have flat-lined sooner, hindsight is 20/20. When you are going to happy hours or really any activity where alcohol is involved, bad food choices happen too. I will not say no to a plate of fries or fried cheese if presented with the opportunity.
However, in moments of exploring my health, I came to discover awhile ago that 2 of my favorite food groups destroy my stomach: bread and cheese (really all dairy, but I don’t drink milk often). Yet, I still continue to torture myself with these foods.
Four years after moving, switching jobs, and ending two relationships I am up close to 40 pounds from where I used to be. Obviously, something has to change. I began working out regularly about a year ago without much visible change to my body. Sure, I can do push-ups like a beast and I can sprint for days but there is still something wrong. So now I have to admit what is really wrong, what I eat. For the most part, I’m very conscious of what I eat and I eat relatively healthy. I do still eat (regularly) the foods that make me feel like shit and I definitely drink more than I should. Here’s something else I have noticed, my past relationships have not supported me in a healthy lifestyle. Whenever I become unhappy in relationships my weight goes up. It’s kind of my gauge for how bad a relationship is. So before I get into a relationship too seriously, I want to work on my relationship with food and how I view it.
Recently, I was introduced to Kelly Leveque‘s method of health. I picked up her book Body Love yesterday and I have to say after devouring nearly 170 pages in less than 6 hours I’ m a fan of her message. Food is about balance. It is not about dieting, it is not about shame, it’s about balance and figuring out what your body needs. She does not advocate for cleanses and crash diets, but education on what food does to your body and more importantly actual science of nutrition. Obviously, that is something that I can get behind.
So today, I start my newest bucket list item that really should have been #1, to begin with: #31- Redevelop a healthy relationship to food and nutrition.
REMINDER: I am moving. Check me out over at likelyspinster.com and on instagram at likelyspinster